Isolated and Lonely: What can you do?
Loneliness and isolation both contribute to adverse health consequences. Research has shown that people who are lonely or feel isolated have increased risks for chronic disease, cognitive decline, an inability to perform daily living tasks and an early death. But loneliness and isolation are two distinct problems—and it’s possible to have one and not the other.
A 2023 Harvard research study (Population Health) reported that social isolation (living alone or not spending time with family and friends) was a strong predictor of physical decline and early death. Loneliness was more predictive of mental health issues, such as depression or feeling that life has no meaning. The bottom line is that both matter and fuel each other. What can an individual do?
Reasons: Never did I imagine that in my later years I would live my most lonely and most isolated phase of life. Many of our church members, including me, face this situation. Some of us are caregivers for a loved one who is ill or disabled and we have limited freedom to engage in outside activities. Our spouse or partner may have dementia or cognitive decline and is unable to have meaningful conversation. Perhaps we have downsized or relocated to be closer to family and must start over in developing new friends and connections. It may not be as easy the second time around. One’s own health may be a reason you cannot see, visit, or maintain friendships or connections with others. One’s lack of energy, interest, or capability have declined. Also, the increase in the number of people working from home, loss of spouse, divorce, becoming an “empty nest” household, retirement, job loss—all have increased the potential to feel isolated and lonely.
Relationship to Mental Health: People are social creatures, and lacking support and contact with others can contribute to loneliness, cognitive decline, anxiety, and depression. Many of us remember the effects of the pandemic on our well-being and how it felt.
Isolation involves being cut off from contact with others and results in feeling emotionally disconnected from social interaction. Spending time with others and feeling connected can cultivate a sense of belonging and may play a role in helping people combat symptoms of stress, anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues.
Loneliness is feeling alone or disconnected from others and is a more subjective experience. The individual may be surrounded by people and still feel lonely because it feels like one does not have meaningful or close relationships. One in three adults in the US feels lonely. A person with a lot of friends can feel lonely (CDC, 2024).
Actions: Building social connections matters. Starting with baby steps, each of us can work to build valuable connections that create new and stronger relationships to improve health and well-being. This step can be hard, but it is important to move forward.
Reaching Out. It may be as simple as reaching out and checking on one another. But there is power in a simple check-in with a friend to let them know you are thinking about them. This small step is an important function of church members in a faith community, but it requires an intentional response for it to happen. Call a friend just to chat; there is nothing like having a supportive friend to feel refreshed, uplifted, and supportive.
Join a small group with shared interests. Many opportunities exist at church—Sunday school classes, small group Bible studies, circle, yoga or other fitness class, book club. Check the newsletter for the many opportunities listed monthly. Spend more quality time with family and friends.
Volunteer for a cause dear to your heart. Many opportunities exist among WMPC’s outreach affiliates or other community organizations you are interested in. Get involved in your community or neighborhood.
Practice self-care. Dedicate some time to you. Each of us needs emotional, psychological, and social recharge for our own well-being. It is up to you to make time in your routine or to schedule this time and then to remove all barriers to preserve the time for self-care.
Seeking help when feeling disconnected, lonely, or stressed. Some of the issues we face are challenging. Talk with a professional who can identify ways to help you or to find helpful resources if needed.
When feelings of isolation or loneliness become overwhelming, it is hard to imagine how to change your circumstances. With a bit of effort and some support, there are ways to create and maintain healthy social relationships and connect to others, no matter your situation. Always remember presence, connection and community are three key steps that describe what to do.
Sheron K. Sumner, Member, Mental Health and Wellness Ministry Team